Humour your Mother and Father

Tonight I had the privilege of attending one in a series of 10 evenings with J John. J John is a minister who, among other things, has created an amazing way of presenting the Ten Commandments in a modern, user-friendly, funny manner. Just 10 presents one commandment each week for, you've guessed it, 10 weeks. Churches across the North East are supporting this by providing transport for people from their corner of Teesside.

So, Mum, Dad and I walked into Eston tonight to get the coach which would take us to Preston Park in Stockton for the 6th event. Coincidence, (or call it what you want!) but tonight's commandment was 'Honour your Mother and Father'. Hmmm.

The majority of the people who got on the same coach as us are people we do not know, or at least Mum and Dad have simply built up a rapport with over the past few weeks as they have journeyed together. These people certainly do not know me. I have been reliably informed that each week, J John has encouraged the congregation to bring friends and family along the following week, so tonight, as I scaled the coach steps, Dad explained that the new face was their daughter. I heard the church-goer 'ah' a knowing 'ah' as she recalled the theme of tonight's meeting. I felt an unseen patronising nod behind me and I almost felt obliged to defend myself: 'They haven't brought me because I need to study the commandment....I am a Christian....I do honour them.'

I felt like the wayward daughter being dragged along to be saved!

As the coach stopped to pick up more people, familiar faces who've known various members of my family for years, joined the pilgrimage and more knowing looks and taps on Mum's shoulder reiterated those same thoughts 'Ahh, how nice, your daughters come.'

I AM A CHRISTIAN boiled inside, as I smiled sweetly. We giggled together as we all realised that once again, the wayward daughter theme was ringing (un)true.

I saw the funny side, but it did bother me.

As the service began the MC asked anyone who'd been before to raise their hand. He then asked anyone who hadn't, to stand and be welcomed. Not wanting to be a Roots-esk person who sits back and ignores any request from the front, I dually stood and received applause, but still in the back of my mind wanting to call out in defence.

Does it really matter what other people think? Not really, but it was strange how I felt judged. Maybe that says more about me than them.

As we walked home tonight, I recalled some of the synonyms I had looked up for a report I was writing this afternoon for the word 'complacent' (smug, self-righteous), non of which, incidentally were suitable(!) I said to Mum and that although I didn't want to sound complacent, smug or self-righteous, that all things considered, the commandment that was presented tonight, we, as a family unit, are quite good at. Respect is something, I feel is pretty strong in our family, from all sides.

One of J John's phrases that's stuck with me tonight is 'roots and wings'. He said that one of the most important aspects to mutual respect between children and parents is cultivating a relationship with strong, firm roots, yet enough independence, trust and respect to let them 'fly' their own way.

He spoke a lot of biblically sound stuff, but also a lot of common sense. I vote J John for Prime Minister!