Totally excited sums up one part of me. Utterly scared, actually, doesn't fit the other part anymore.
God has been faithful (like forever, I know), but recently, He has been so incredibly tangible in SO many ways. I am revelling (is that a sin?) in the awesomeness of God and the countless blessings He has bestowed on me. It simply takes by breath away, that God has been so indescribably good to me.
The process I went through today was pretty painless...though i did feel quite sick! It was emotional. Sitting in the car, immediately after, PRAYING was truly AMAZING. It was truly right. And truly honouring God.
So the other part of me, the part that's not so excited, is, well, simply sad. Sad that I can't share it with some of the people I want to.
Clare would have shared in my excitement. It would have been like it was happening to her. She'd already be looking at colour charts and patterns and working out the benefits of visiting certain shops. She'd have been so encouraging.
But I am surrounded by a family who have supported me 100% in the ups and downs of my life, specifically since I've lived here. A family without which, I could never dream of approaching anything like this.
I am surrounded by friends who share my faith and support me through life based on a mutual understanding.
I am surrounded by people who love me and put their own lives on hold to support me.
I am supported by someone who will pray with me at the drop of hat....just because it's right.
This morning, in the meeting, Richard talked about sharing life, having people to encourage us, support us and to whom we can be accountable.
I thank God that I already have people like this in my life, so that like the past few weeks and particularly today, those people are there like a shot.
I may not be able to share this experience in all the ways I'd like, but I praise God for His faithfulness.....and for the people he's placed in my life who today have said the words 'I'm proud of you', because they know what it's taken to get this far.
I'm proud of me too!
4 comments:
I am reading this with tears pouring down my cheeks! I know it has been a struggle emotionally, spiritually, physically, financially to get here. But you have done it! And, yes, we are proud for you and so pleased.
You're still a little way to go, though, and don't be surprised if the devil doesn't have another go! But you will be fine!
We love you, and can't wait to come and visit xxx
love, prayers and best wishes, Judyx
Dawn, it's only been a week - can you believe it?
Feels like a life time ago, yet at the same time, still all feels so new.
Not sure what I'm going to look like in May, spiritually, physically and emotionally if every one of those weeks is going to be like this one.
(having said that, I don't know what you and my family are going to look like if all my weeks are like this one, either!)
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